Dear Leaders Legacy....

The GEORGE W. BUSH PRESIDENTIAL LIBRARY
(To be inaugurated by John McCain ) The Library will include:

--The Standing on the Wall Room, where patrons can dress up as camel drivers and push a life sized manikin of George W. Bush off the ‘Defensive Perimeter of the United States Wall.’ The GWB manikin then rises up and dances to the turbaned (mechanical) marionette master’s pleasure, handing his wallet over to conclude the show.

--The Chopping Wood Room, where patrons can simultaneously chop real wood and connect the four dots that would have led to the 9/11 hijackers capture.

--The ‘Who’s Al Kayduh?’ Room-where patrons are treated to a montage of black booted Condi Rice videos, with Waldo narrating.

--The Pet Goat Room, where patrons can pet a live goat while being doused with gasoline and set afire.

--The Hornet’s Nest Room-Where patron’s can dress up in Crusader period garb and jab a stick into a live hornets nest that’s been painted with a crescent moon.

--The Hurricane Katrina Room, which is still under construction.

--The Global Goodwill Room- still under destruction.

--The Alberto Gonzales Meritocracy Room, part of the new Torture Wing, where you won't be able to remember anything.

--The Walter Reed Hospital Room, where they don't let you in.

--The Guantanamo Bay Room, where they don't let you out.

--The National Debt Room, which is huge and has no ceiling. The room is a rather pleasant sky blue though, so the $11,000,000,000,000.00 debt, a credit card tab of $450,000 per American household, actually looks pretty good.

--Socialism Studies Room-where patrons can watch a group of neo-con scholars arguing, in blue-face, against the notion that Bush’s 54% rise in the size of government, not including the permanent wars’ cost, is not a rush to socialism.

--The Hurl Room- For old style Republicans who could not 1) take the sight of the $11, 000,000,000,000.00 debt (the one that cost the American people $431,000,000,000.00 in interest this year), or 2) listen to the fact that the government has grown 54% on their watch.

--The Tax Cut Room-entry restricted only to the wealthy. Laughing gas provided.

--The Men's Room, where you can meet real live Republican Senators.

--The Economy Room, which is in the 3rd toilet on the right in the Airport Men’s Room. (paid for by Exxon)

--The Iraq War Room- This room takes six years to get through and cost’s $4000 per American to get in. A Surge Parade will be held everyday in the room’s northwest corner at 11:00 am.

--The Abu Ghraib Room- The only first-rate torture facility in the country.

--The Environmental Conservation Room, still empty, but very warm.

--The Supreme Court Gift Shop, where you can buy an election and punch a life sized inflatable founding father.

--The Decider Room-with dart board, magic 8-ball, Ouija board, and dice.

--The Sportscenter Bubble-Where the ex-President can often be found, seemingly unaware that he is there.

--The We’re all Gonna Die/Coward Room-Where patrons can view a bust, a gift of Vladimir Putin’s, of the only President who intentionally scared the American People for political gain: George W. Bush, the "I can't have a beer" President.

--The Creation Room-where Patrons can ride an animatronic dinosaur with Adam and Eve, who are in 3-D up on an Imax screen. No materials that pre-date October 28, 4004 BC, were used in the construction of this room.

--The Loyalty Room-where patrons can enjoy the sight of live orangutans wearing professor’s costumes throwing fruit at scientists who’ve been tied up to oversized student’s chairs.

--The Cold War Room: Where patrons can compare the Russian Penal Code's Article 58 to the Patriot Act. (free copies of Orwell’s 1984 will be available for banning and burning)

--The Grey Room- Where patrons can age at twice the pace of normal humans for the weight of Bush's colossal failures.
--The Rape and Incest Room-where patrons can view appreciative letters from the fathers of daughters who were raped and forced by the Republican platform to carry and birth the rapist’s child. A video feed into the jail rooms of those who chose not to have a rapist’s kid at their dinner table will be provided.

--The Middle Class Stooge Room- where an average American’s effigy is hung from the ceiling, a wool sweater pulled over his head, a sandwich board reading “I’m a Sucker” draped over his shoulders. Actual lobbyists can often be seen here, rolling on the ground, guffawing in glee.

--The End of Days Room-for select patrons to pray for the prompt annihilation of all sinners and non-Christians.

--The John McCain Room-where patrons can cast their vote to validate and continue the Bush years. Open November 3, 2008 only.

--Additionally, the museum will have an electron microscope to help you locate the President's accomplishments and The Republican Nominees lost dignity.

Admission: Republicans - free; Democrats - $1000, or 3 Euros.